A Shoelace for the Wedding

Julia and I got married! That was in May, just over half a year ago. Is it really the “happiest day of your life,” as it is often called? Or is that just a romantic idealization? Why did I almost lose my sense of well-being on the morning of the wedding? All this and more in this smile-worthy retrospective about May 17, 2025.

Who Proposed to Whom?

Actually, neither of us. Our desire to get married arose organically as we got to know each other and discussed the aesthetics and meaning of marriage.

Julia and I met in the middle of the pandemic. Over Easter, we both spent time at home with our parents. Jena, where Julia was studying at the time, and Greifswald, where I was working at KATAPULT, are hundreds of kilometers apart. However, chance reduced the distance between us to just under seven kilometers. As fate would have it, we never met during our childhood.

Because we shared a home region, we gave each other the benefit of the doubt, which made it easier to swipe right on Bumble. After some anxiety about whether Julia would accept our match, we exchanged a few messages and agreed to an expectation-free date: a walk. On the first walk and all those that followed in the weeks that followed, we explored the natural areas between our home villages. They were just “walks.” But maybe they were secretly dates.

As we got to know each other and tested our mutual compatibility through discussions about general attitudes toward life, the topic of marriage eventually came up. We both had an unbiased attitude. From an aesthetic point of view, a wedding can be beautiful and simultaneously romantically idealized. We agreed that we didn’t want to bow to any potential social pressure to conform. We would only get married if we both felt the same way.

In hindsight, my delight in wedding aesthetics played a role early on. Julia’s invitation to a childhood friend’s wedding in the summer of 2021 got us thinking about it. At that point, we had only been a couple for a few months, and the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” had not yet been spoken. Everything was still too new and exciting for us to imagine attending the wedding together. Since then, we’ve been dreaming about what a thoughtful wedding might look like, aesthetically and content-wise, so that we’d feel comfortable.

That’s why there wasn’t one single proposal. We kept exchanging ideas until the desire to make them a reality became irresistible.

The Small or Large Celebration

This is our first (and, according to the plan, only) life event of this kind. There is no A/B test for it where you can compare two schedules simultaneously. In that sense, the wedding is an experiment in terms of its design and planning.

What do we actually want from our wedding?

• To celebrate the surrounding experience more than the ceremony itself – the experience with friends and family is most important to us.
• Compatibility with our desire to have children. Getting married either before the first fertility tests or with a child who is at least two years old. In other words: very soon or not for at least three years.
• For me, spending part of the weekend where we first got to know each other four years ago. In our home region.
• Celebrating in the spring or summer.

We originally wanted to organize a large celebration. While searching for the right location, we found Schloss Teutschenthal. Locals call it “the castle,” but it’s actually more of a large villa. Located next to a park and surrounded by greenery, it was the ideal place for us and anyone who wanted to escape the hustle and bustle for a while. The hotel could accommodate 50 to 60 guests, so everyone could have stayed for breakfast the day after the wedding.

However, our decision to get married came only at the end of 2024 – too spontaneous, and Schloss Teutschenthal had no weekends available in 2025. Even the dates for 2026 were largely booked.

Therefore, a big celebration would mean having to wait. Neither of us wanted that.

The solution: a small wedding with our families in 2025 and a grand life celebration a few years later, which our friends would join. This approach also fulfilled my wish to celebrate at the place where Julia and I met.

In Leipzig, civil wedding registrations are assigned at specific intervals. For a December 2024 registration, the interval fell in the spring of 2025 – perfect! We booked one of the last available slots just in time – for the morning of May 17, 2025.

Oops, I Wanted to Buy a Belt

For all guests, the wedding day began shortly after 9 a.m. at the Leipzig registry office. The wedding ceremony was scheduled for around 9:30 a.m.

For the bride and groom, however, the day began at 7:00 a.m. at Natalie Paulikat’s. She did Julia’s hair and applied makeup. Only about fifteen minutes of the planned two hours were set aside for my “foundation.” While Julia was comfortable with Natalie, I documented the whole thing with my camera, contentedly sipping coffee (the coffee was very good, Natalie!).

As the ninth hour of the day ran out, I became fidgety. Natalie and Julia weren’t finished yet. We still had to change outfits and travel from the south of Leipzig to the city center and the registry office.

Natalie quickly dabbed her final brush strokes on Julia’s canvas. Hurried and excited, Julia and I helped each other get dressed; she pinned the boutonniere to my lapel. As I buttoned my suit pants, I froze and thought, “Shit! I forgot something!”

Finding the right suit was an odyssey. Well-known and lesser-known outfitters in Leipzig and Berlin’s Kurfürstendamm were too old-fashioned and staid for me. I felt more like I was wearing a costume than actually being dressed. Unexpectedly, I finally found a stylish cut for just over €100 at Zalando. This suit offered the comfort I had been searching for for months. The size M jacket fit me perfectly, but the matching pants in the same size were too loose. I wanted to cinch the thumb-wide gap between my body and the pants with a belt. However, after the last fitting, Past-Johann forgot to buy a matching belt.

The wedding day had just begun, but I could already see it falling apart in my mind. How could I have forgotten to buy a belt?

“Quick, think,” I whispered to myself. There was no way to stop by our home on the way to the registry office because we were already running late. Besides, I only own two black belts, which would stand out against the color of my suit.

Glancing at my watch, I saw that we were supposed to arrive at the registry office at that very moment. We grabbed our things, said goodbye to Natalie quickly, and hurried to the car.

As we made our way through the backyard and parking lot in the canyon of old buildings to the car, my thoughts were racing:

• With my pants slipping down, I felt uncomfortable at the thought of the upcoming wedding ceremony. In my mind, the day was ruined.
• I needed an emergency solution. What everyday item could I repurpose as a belt?

Suddenly, as I balanced my luggage on my shoulder and held the shoeboxes in my hand, a brilliant idea for a way out of this predicament flashed through my mind! What if I used the lace from my everyday shoe? It’s beige, and the matte cord would match the suit well.

I loaded the trunk, helped Julia with her dress, got in the car, and started the engine. As I shifted into gear, I asked Julia to pull the shoelace out of one of my shoes. At that moment, I didn’t know if it would work.

When we arrived at the registry office, everyone was already there. We were by no means on time, but there were still a few minutes left before the ceremony. There was enough time to adjust the shoelace – I mean, the belt. Once it was tied around my waist, there were even a few centimeters left for a bow. The makeshift belt didn’t fit perfectly, but it did keep my pants up. Mission accomplished!

A Change of Location and a Moment to Catch Your Breath

The day unfolded in two stages. It began in Leipzig and ended in our home region near Gera.

Julia and I were responsible for the first part. Immediately after the wedding ceremony at the registry office, we invited our guests to Michaelis Leipzig for food. The hotel and restaurant are located six doors down on the same side of the street as our home. Two courses were served so that everyone could sit and chat together: a breakfast buffet followed by lunch. Even with a break for a short walk, two meals were too much – breakfast alone would have been sufficient. That was one of the lessons learned that day.

In the early afternoon, all the guests set off for home. Everything went according to plan. Julia and I were able to retreat for half an hour. I really appreciated this moment of togetherness and intimacy.

Thankfully, my brother took over the hour-long drive to Gera because I was so exhausted that I needed to nap in the backseat.

Julia’s parents and mine organized the evening’s plans. In the former barn on my parents’ farm, a cowshed had been converted into an event room, perfect for a dozen or so cheerful guests. I was familiar with the room, but everything else was meant to be a surprise. My core wish was: “A barbecue with the family.” Sitting together in a small circle and talking.

A Hometown Evening – with Mixed Feelings?

The buffet, Mom’s cake, the bride’s father’s speech, and the thoughtful planning could be assumed in a general sense, but weren’t specifically expected. This made the experience all the more wonderful. I am grateful for our parents’ efforts.

The carriage ride was one of the unexpected surprises. Two white horses galloped the seven kilometers between Julia’s parents’ house and my parents’ farm, pulling the carriage behind them. Fortunately, it wasn’t just a wedding carriage for the couple – it had extra seats, so Julia’s sister and my brother could spontaneously join us.

Another surprise was the visit from old friends. I welcomed them with open arms, perplexed, as some of us hadn’t seen each other for years. As nice as the reunions were, I would have preferred a different setting with more space. Because of that, my time budget for catching up with them and bringing them into the group shifted. There was no time left to chat with Julia’s parents and siblings – my new family.

On the one hand, the evening was everything I wanted: to be in a place I explored and unlocked once as a child and again with Julia. On the other hand, our wedding also leaves me with diffuse feelings. My dad inviting old friends overwhelmed me; the neighbors coming along on top of that went too far for me. We had handed the reins for the evening over to our parents and their surprise. Part of that surprise was a guest list that wasn’t ours. In hindsight, I wish my dad had kept our wish for a family wedding in mind. Or that he had simply asked what I had envisioned for the evening.

Was this the best day of my life? Maybe, but I hope not. To do that, I’d need to live three times as long, become a father, and share more special moments with Julia and our families.

Now that we have gained experience, shall we throw a big party in a few years?

The greatest gift is being allowed to be with and alongside Julia. I want to continue weaving and living the invisible bond that first inspired us to get married. Our rings, made in Weimar, are the manifestation of this.

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That concludes the article. If you spot any typo or would like to share your thoughts on this article, please feel free to get in touch. 🙆‍♂️