A Shoelace for the Wedding

Julia and I got married! That was in May, just over half a year ago. Is it really the “happiest day of your life,” as it is often called? Or is that just a romantic idealization? Why did I almost lose my sense of well-being on the morning of the wedding? All this and more in this smile-worthy retrospective about May 17, 2025.

Who Proposed to Whom?

Actually, neither of us. Our desire to get married arose organically as we got to know each other and discussed the aesthetics and meaning of marriage.

Julia and I met in the middle of the pandemic. Over Easter, we both spent time at home with our parents. Jena, where Julia was studying at the time, and Greifswald, where I was working at KATAPULT, are hundreds of kilometers apart. However, chance reduced the distance between us to just under seven kilometers. As fate would have it, we never met during our childhood.

The advance of trust we felt from the familiarity of sharing a home region made it easier for us to swipe right on Bumble. After some anxiety about whether Julia would accept our match, we exchanged a few messages and agreed to an expectation-free date: a walk. On the first walk and all those that followed in the weeks that followed, we explored the natural areas between our home villages. They were just “walks.” But maybe they were secretly dates.

As we got to know each other and tested our mutual compatibility through discussions about general attitudes toward life, the topic of marriage eventually came up. We both had an unbiased attitude. From an aesthetic point of view, a wedding can be beautiful and simultaneously romantically idealized. We agreed that we didn't want to face any potential societal expectation pressure. We would only get married if we both felt the same way.

In hindsight, my passion for wedding aesthetics played a role early on. Julia's invitation to a childhood friend's wedding in the summer of 2021 got us thinking about it. At that point, we had only been a couple for a few months, and the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” had not yet been spoken. Everything was still too new and exciting for us to imagine attending the wedding together. Since then, we've been dreaming about what a thoughtful wedding might look like, aesthetically and content-wise, so that we'd feel comfortable.

That's why there wasn't one single proposal. We kept exchanging ideas until the desire to make them a reality became irresistible.

The Small or Large Celebration

What do we actually want from our wedding?

• To celebrate the surrounding experience more than the ceremony itself – the experience with friends and family is most important to us.
• Compatibility with our desire to have children. Getting married either before the first fertility tests or with a child who is at least two years old. In other words: very soon or not for at least three years.
• For me, spending part of the weekend where we first got to know each other four years ago. In our home state.
• Celebrating in the spring or summer.

We originally wanted to organize a large celebration. While searching for the right location, we found Teutschenthal Castle. Locals call it “the castle,” but it's actually more of a large villa. Located next to a park and surrounded by greenery, it was the ideal place for us and anyone who wanted to escape the hustle and bustle for a while. The hotel could accommodate 50 to 60 guests, so everyone could have stayed for breakfast the day after the wedding.

However, our decision to get married at the end of 2024 was too spontaneous, and Teutschenthal Castle had no weekends available in 2025. Even the dates for 2026 were largely booked.

Therefore, a big celebration would mean having to wait. Neither of us wanted that.

The solution: a small wedding with our families in 2025 and a grand life celebration a few years later. This approach also fulfilled my wish to celebrate at the place where Julia and I met.

In Leipzig, civil wedding registrations are assigned at specific intervals. For a December 2024 registration, the interval fell in the spring of 2025 – perfect! We booked one of the last available slots just in time – for the morning of May 17, 2025.

Oops, I Wanted to Buy a Belt

For all guests, the wedding day began shortly after 9 a.m. at the Leipzig registry office. The wedding ceremony was scheduled for around 9:30 a.m.

For the bride and groom, however, the day began at 7:00 a.m. at Natalie Paulikat's. She did Julia's hair and applied makeup. Only about fifteen minutes of the planned two hours were set aside for my foundation. While Julia was comfortable with Natalie, I accompanied the event with my camera and a leisurely sip of coffee (the coffee was very good, Natalie!).

As the ninth hour of the day approached, I became restless. Natalie and Julia weren't finished yet. We still had to change outfits and travel from the south of Leipzig to the city center and the registry office.

Natalie quickly dabbed her final brush strokes on Julia's canvas. Hurried and excited, Julia and I helped each other get dressed. As I buttoned my suit pants, I froze and thought, “Shit! I forgot something!”

Finding the right suit was an odyssey. Well-known and lesser-known outfitters in Leipzig and Berlin's Kurfürstendamm were too old-fashioned and staid for me. I felt more like I was wearing a costume than actually being dressed. Unexpectedly, I finally found a stylish cut for just over €100 at Zalando. This suit offered the comfort I had been searching for for months. The size M jacket fit me perfectly, but the matching pants in the same size were too loose. I wanted to cinch the thumb-wide gap between my body and the pants with a belt. However, after the last fitting, Past-Johann forgot to buy a matching belt.

The wedding day had just begun, but I could already see it falling apart in my mind. How could I have forgotten to buy a belt?

“Quick, think,” I whispered to myself. There was no way to stop by my house on the way to the registry office because we were already running late. Besides, I only own two black belts, which would stand out against the color of my suit.

Glancing at my watch, I saw that we were supposed to arrive at the registry office at that very moment. We grabbed our things, said goodbye to Natalie quickly, and hurried to the car.

As we made our way through the backyard and parking lot in the canyon of old buildings to the car, my thoughts were racing:

• With my pants slipping down, I felt uncomfortable at the thought of the upcoming wedding ceremony. In my mind, the day was ruined.
• I needed an emergency solution. What everyday item could I repurpose as a belt?

Suddenly, as I balanced my luggage on my shoulder and held the shoeboxes in my hand, a brilliant idea for a way out of this predicament flashed through my mind! What if I used the laces from my everyday shoes? They're beige, and the matte laces would match the suit well.

I loaded the trunk, helped Julia with her dress, got in the car, and started the engine. As I shifted into gear, I asked Julia to pull the shoelace out of one of my shoes. At that moment, I didn't know if it would work.

When we arrived at the registry office, everyone was already there. We were by no means on time, but there were still a few minutes left before the ceremony. There was enough time to adjust the shoelace – I mean, the belt. Tied around my waist, there were enough extra centimeters for a bow. The makeshift belt didn't fit perfectly, but it did keep my pants up. Mission accomplished!

A Change of Location and a Moment to Catch Your Breath

This is our first (and, according to the plan, only) life event of this kind. There is no A/B test for it where you can compare two schedules simultaneously. In that sense, the wedding is an experiment in terms of its design and planning.

The day unfolded in two stages. It began in Leipzig and ended in our hometown near Gera.

Julia and I were responsible for the first part. Immediately after the wedding ceremony at the registry office, we invited our guests to Michaelis Leipzig for food. The hotel and restaurant are located six doors down on the same side of the street as our home. Two courses were served so that everyone could sit and chat together: a breakfast buffet followed by lunch. Even with a break for a short walk, two meals were too much – breakfast alone would have been sufficient. That was one of the lessons learned that day.

In the early afternoon, all the guests set off for home. Everything went according to plan. Julia and I were able to retreat for half an hour. I really appreciated this moment of togetherness and intimacy.

Thankfully, my brother took over the hour-long drive to Gera because I was so exhausted that I needed to nap in the backseat.

Julia's parents and mine organized the evening's plans. In the former barn on my parents' farm, a cowshed had been converted into an event room, perfect for a dozen or so cheerful guests. I was familiar with the room, but everything else was meant to be a surprise. My one request was: “A barbecue with the family.”

A Hometown Evening with Something Missing?

During the wedding, there was one expected surprise and one unexpected one. The buffet, Mom's cake, the bride's father's speech, and the thoughtful planning could be assumed in a general sense, but weren't specifically expected. This made the experience all the more wonderful. I am grateful for our parents' efforts.

The carriage ride was one of the unexpected surprises. Two white horses galloped the seven kilometers between Julia's parents' house and my parents' farm, pulling the carriage behind them. Fortunately, it wasn't just a wedding carriage for the couple – it had extra seats, so Julia's sister and my brother could spontaneously join us.

Another surprise was the unexpected visit from old friends. I welcomed them with open arms, perplexed, as some of us hadn't seen each other for years. As nice as the reunions were, I would have preferred a different setting with more space. That way, my time budget for catching up and integrating into the group would have been better. For example, there was no time to chat with Julia's siblings. In retrospect, I wish my dad, who initiated the guest invitations, had been more sensitive to my needs. Maybe that's a lesson learned – if you're going to plan a surprise, set some limits or take charge of the planning.

On the one hand, the evening was everything I wanted: to be in a place I explored and unlocked once as a child and again with Julia. On the other hand, our wedding left us with branched, diffuse feelings.

Was this the best day of my life? Maybe, but I hope not. To do that, I'd need to live three times as long, become a father, and share more special moments with Julia and our families.

The greatest gift is being allowed to be with and alongside Julia. I want to continue weaving and living the invisible bond that first inspired us to get married. Our rings are the manifestation of this.

Now that we have gained experience, shall we throw a big party in a few years?

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That concludes the article. If you spot any typo or would like to share your thoughts on this article, please feel free to get in touch. 🙆‍♂️